157.

I love my Lowe's family and I kind of don't want to lose them.
Ever.
:'(

156.

Sometimes I read through old blog entries as opposed to journal entries. (The blog ones are less depressing.) And, well, lately I've been wondering a few things about myself and what I believe to be true for myself. I've been doing "what if" scenarios for weeks now and have come to no answer. And until I find my answer, I will live my life as I have planned it. Maybe when I find an answer my life will go on just as I have planned it, or it may change drastically. Either way, I know things will be fine. Well, while I was reading through some old posts of mine I found an entry where I put up about 100 different quotes. I LOVE quotes. I love knowing that a sentence or two can change someone's perspective of an issue. Well, as you guys know, I'm dating Devin. Now, it's nothing serious. He's afraid of commitment and I'm leaving in April, so it's rather perfect. We just kind of hang out and enjoy each others company. But, while hanging around him, I realized that I still like his type. "His type" sounds rather categorizing, so let me clarify. I wasn't necessarily a "rebel" in high school, but I didn't like the normal jock boy who had great hair and biceps. I didn't imagine myself with them. I didn't exactly see myself dating anyone in the school, but I did imagine myself with a guy who had strange quirks to him. A guy who had a past, a story. I wanted to be frustrated by him. Kind of like a situation in "Sweet Home Alabama," the movie. I DO like a guy with piercings and tattoos. I can't help it. That doesn't mean that I'm dying to go out and get myself some piercings and tattoos. So, what happens if I, a Latter Day Saint, fall in love with such a man? That is my worry. (I do worry about strange things, haha.) This is where the whole, reading quotes in old journal entries ties in.
"When love comes so strong, there is no right or wrong; your love is your life." -West Side Story

155.

CAT HISTORY WAS MADE TODAY!
I have had my license for THREE AND A HALF YEARS and not once have I been pulled over.
Until today.
Yes, that is right. On 1/14/10 at 22:53, I had blue lights behind me.

It was just an expired license plate.

Actually, I was pretty sure I was gonna be pulled over for it soon. I was pretty sure it was expired.
I was wondering how long I could get away with it.
Kind of like I was also trying to provoke the cops.
I mean, I pretty much have been TERRIFIED of being pulled over.
Well, I broke that fear.
I just wish it had been someone I know.
Oh well.

It was just a warning anyway.

154.

I see people who struggle with their relationships,
the relationships that are supposed to be set in stone.
Tonight, I saw in a Facebook status another person declare the fact that it's over,
and this song popped into my head. I used to listen to this kid all the time.
I was in love with him.
Without further ado - Billy Gilman of the Ocean State.
"What's Forever For?"

I've been looking at people
And how they change with the times
And lately all I've been seeing are people
Throwing love away and losing their minds

Or maybe it's me that's gone crazy
'Cause I can't understand why
All these people keep hurting each other
When good love is so hard to come by

So what's the glory in living
Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what's forever for

I've been listening to people
And they say love is the key
And it's not my way to let them lead me astray
It's only that I want to believe

But I see love hungry people
Trying their best to survive
While in their hands is a dying romance
And they're not even trying to keep it alive

So what's the glory in living
Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what's forever for

And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what's forever for

153.

I'm learning basic music theory because I love music.
Music speaks to me.
The pulse, the beat, the bass, the lyrics.
Tonight's song is called "Water and a Flame," a duet by Daniel Merriweather and Adele.

Seven days has gone so fast
I really thought the pain would pass
It’s been only an hour since I thought of you
cause you’re not answering the phone
Id settle for a busy tone
at least by that I know,
that you’re okay
A girl like you ain’t meant to go away... ohh

[Chorus]
And now you’re gone,
ain’t nothing else I want
And now that it’s over,
there’s nothing else I want
What have I done,
looks I was wrong
is everything really meant to change?
I guess we’re like water and a flame
water and a flame

[Adele]
I’m tired of this empty house
I need a drink to get me out
a couple more till I forget your name
I saw a boy that looked like you
I didn’t quite know what to do
I took a power of will to break my stare
I realized what I wanted wasn’t there

[Chorus]
And now you’re gone,
ain’t nothing else I want
And now that it’s over,
there’s nothing else I want
What have I done,
looks like I was wrong
is everything really meant to change?
I guess we’re like water and a flame
water and a flame

[Middle]

Daniel: If you see me coming
Adele: I look away, I look away
Daniel: And if you’re mind’s made up
Adele: I look away, I will look away
Daniel: If you worry about..
Adele: I’m ok, I’m ok, yes I am
Daniel: All this sorrow and this pain is gonna go away!

[Chorus]
And now you’re gone,
ain’t nothing else I want
And now that it’s over,
there’s nothing else I want
What have I done,
looks I was wrong
is everything really meant to change?
I guess we’re like water and a flame
water and a flame

152.

I don't think a man has ever made me so frustrated.
It's called a cell phone; use it.

151.

I can see your picture and not be sad anymore.

As long as you're happy, I don't care who she is.

Even if she's not me.

I learned that sometimes doing the wrong thing is the right thing to do.

As long as it is the right thing for you.

No matter the consequences.

I also learned that I really can't stand when I send someone a text and he/she doesn't answer.

Today is a "listen to sad Korean Pop Songs" kind of day.

Tae Yang's "Wedding Dress" is definitely high on that list.

Ohh, Tae Yang. <3

Marry me?

Oh baby.

Oh baby.

I want you,

I need you.

;]

150.

Jas inspired me to play the "put the iPod on shuffle and see what plays" game.
1. Muse
2. Johnathan Rhys Meyers (The dad from the movie "August Rush" <3 Babeee)
3.Hollywood Undead
4. Ladyhawke
5. Johnny Cash
6. (I got distracted and missed like 7238975 songs)
7. Enya
8. Guns 'n Roses
9. Cute is What We Aim For
10. Kate Nash

I almost joined a group on Facebook called, "I love when people text me goodnight/good morning" cause, isn't that just the truth.

149.

Devin. Ya'll remember him, right? I'll pretend that you do.
Well, he and I have been flirting ever since I started working at Lowe's. When I started at work, I knew I didn't want to date anyone. I didn't want to play the time game since I know how wrong it can potentially go in the end. I remained so steadfast through 3 months of intensive flirting until the flirting became more than a surface kind of flirting. I surprised him. I surprised him when I knew what BBW meant. He hadn't really had a girl surprise him like that. Maybe he has only dated superficial girls, I don't know, but I guess my random knowledge impressed him. Well, last night, he finally did what I had been expecting him to do for so long. The evening was filled with the normalcy of flirting as per usual. Then he asks what time am I working till? I get out an hour and a half earlier than him. Did I have my lunch yet? Yes. His response was, "I'm taking you out to dinner sometime." Me: "This is a statement and not a question. Did you mean to ask me out for dinner?" Devin: "It's a fact that I'm taking you out. Where would you like to go?" Me: "Well, since you asked and you want to go out, you have to decide on dinner." So, for the rest of the evening, when he would pass by me, he would ask a question that would lead to a better idea of where he could take me for dinner. "Do you have a special diet?" (As in vegetarian, vegan, etc.) "Do you have a boyfriend?" No. "Good, I don't have to worry about getting beat up." He wanted to know when he ought to take me, so during my fifteen minute break I gave him about 4 evenings for which I was available and I gave him my number so that he could call me. Well, I wasn't very strategical with my note. I meant to leave him the note then have him find it after I left therefore forcing him to call me. However, as I stood at Self Check near the break room, I realized that he could hypothetically have a break as well soon. I couldn't leave self check to go into the break room to get it back, nor could I keep him from going into the break room to his locker. As I predicted, he had a break while I was still there. He ducked into the break room while I was with a customer. Pretending I didn't see him, I grabbed some spray cleaner and paper towels and began to clean the water fountains directly outside the break room. From there I watched him go to his locker, grab the note, walk over to the schedules and compare our schedules. He then came out to me and said, "So, how about this Wednesday and next Monday?" Me: "Aren't you getting a little greedy trying to get a second date before we've had a first date?" Devin: "Probably, so how about it?" Me: "You're getting pushy." Devin: "You don't seem to really mind." Me: "What would you suggest we do on this second date?" Devin: "The cliche movie and dinner." I then explained to him that I won't watch a rated R movie, we discussed a little about Mormonism. He suggested the movie Sherlock Holmes to which I agreed. He then started thinking of places we could eat. He mentioned the many steakhouses there. I didn't get too overly excited for that. Olive Garden? Meh. "Well," he said, "what about this buffet place that has Japanese, Chinese . . ." I didn't even let him finish. "You had me at Japanese." He asked if I liked all things Japanese. I specified that I prefer Korean over Japanese, but I still love Japanese. I also included the fact that I'm currently addicted to Korean dramas, both tv shows and movies. This, too, surprised him. "You're very unique; it's adorable."
I'm excited and kind of scared for our dates. I do like him, and that's the problem. I don't want to play the time game. He and I get along very well; we're very similar in some aspects, yet very different in some as well. I don't want to lead him on or anything. Of course I'm over-thinking things way too early since I don't even know where our dates will take us. But, he seems to respect me thus far. I said no to R movies and he is okay with that. I said that I'm not comfortable around people who smoke, do drugs and drink, and he is okay with that too. These aren't huge requests, but they are a little abnormal for this day and age. Yes, he has a tattoo and seven piercings, but I am not going to judge him for that as others do. Beneath the three pounds of metal in his face, he is quite adorable. I just have to encourage him to leave the metal out sometime. :P
Oh, and he did call me last night. He didn't have a reason to. I normally hate talking on the phone, but this time, I didn't seem to mind too much. In fact, I kinda liked it. Here's to a good winter.

148.

So, today (which is now yesterday) was a great day at work. It was a day where I got along with everyone. I was having tons of fun in the lumber department, and I'm not even being facetious. Even though I did have one co-worker go into his personal details about his marital problems and how he hasn't gotten any in like, 3 years and he's been married for 10 years. If he makes one more pass at me though, I swear, I'm going to say, straight up, "Hey, I don't bat for your team." However, I do know how rumours go in that store, and I could say that on a Wednesday morning and before I leave Thursday afternoon, I'm sure I'd have someone come up to me and say, "How can you bat for your own team if you're Mormon?" Yep. I have tested the rumour mill there. I told two people in one day that I was Mormon. Three days later I had people asking me about Mormons and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. So, anyway! Yeah, it was a fabulous day. Most everyone I talked to was hungover, therefore they were all ridiculous and stealing coffee from the Commercial Sales desk. (That coffee is for CUSTOMERS! :P ) I did Lowe's learning modules all day and I could tell you TONS about paint and caulk now. I'm still working on the wood-stain learning module. I'm becoming increasingly tired of cashiering and I just REALLY want to get out on the sales floor. That is my goal for Idaho Falls Lowe's. Biiig goals in my life right now. haha.

147.

My Day:

Woke up at 6:30 to the sounds of my dad playing Wii Fit Boxing.
Dozed until 7.
Went outside at 7:30 only to find my doors semi iced shut. I finally pried one door open.
I didn't drive to work, I slid to work. Coming down exit 13 I ended up taking a curve a little too fast (about 20mph) and turned my car completely around. One moment I was looking at Lowe's, the next moment I was looking at Rt. 16. Luckily I wasn't off the road. However, I found myself performing an Olympic scale three point turn while a commercial van came down the ramp towards me. I took the gold.

Work was pretty much boring today. Just your typical freezing cold 9 hour day.
OH, but I did break the key copying machine. That's a highlight.
I came home, kicked some Wii Boxing Butt, made some Chicken Alfredo to kill whatever calorie burning progress I made.
Then I did some yoga. I actually LIKE yoga. =]
And now I'm here. What an eventful day!

146.

I feel like all I ever talk about is work. However, I suppose that is better than talking just about boys.
Actually, strike that. Today, this blog is about a boy at work. :P

This is about Devin. If you have an AMAZING memory, you may recall me talking about Devin earlier, about three months ago. If you don't recall, I'll jog your memory.
Three months ago I was just back from Rexburg, a town where 98 percent of the population is Mormon. I had not seen smoking, heard cursing, seen tattoos or piercings in over 6 months. Three months ago is also when I started working at Lowe's where a vast majority of the workers smoke, all of them cuss, many have tattoos and Devin has lots of piercings. (A few others have tongue piercings, but Devin takes the prize.) Devin has a septum piercing, lip piercing(s), two gauges per ear and well, I think that's it. It was probably my first day on registers when I met him. He came through my line and paid cash. When a person pays cash I have to ask for their phone number. Well, not only did he do the usual "this is when you can call" line that I usually get from old men, he used a pet name such as honey, sweetie, or something to that effect. I was pretty much shell shocked. Someone called me HONEY after first meeting me AND played the whole phone number game?? Where the heck was I? After I calmed down, which took about four days to do, I got to know him better. He really reminds me of some of the people I used to hang out with in High School. He is a sweet guy and sensitive sometimes. He knows when I'm having a bad day when no one else notices and always has something positive to say. Today he was talking to me and he randomly goes, "Have you lost weight?" Me, "Yeahh..." Devin, "Congrats!! How much?" Me, "Like, 25 pounds." He got all excited for me and everything. I don't think my MOM even noticed until I told her. (You know it's bad when you lose 25 pounds and it's not terribly noticeable. HAHA.) After asking how I did it, (I have NO clue how I've lost weight, by the way, as I'm currently eating an entire roll of Life Savers,) Devin implied something about how he kinda likes bigger girls. Knowing the lingo, I added in, "Oh, you like BBW?" Well, I get an A for shocking Devin. He did a 'I'm so surprised you knew that so I'm going to step back to show you how surprised I am' thing and then explained that he was surprised how I knew that. My response was naturally: "Big beautiful woman? Psh, honey, please, I know what I am!" Cue exit. Bahaha.


Now, to talk about other guys at work. Haha. I usually plan on having the, "Do Mormons celebrate Christmas?" question once per holiday season. However, I was graced with two this year and thus had to explain that we are the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter Day Saints. One response was "So, you're not like the Jehovah's Witnesses?" And the other response was, "Oh. Okay." I'm really glad I have the opportunity to teach the people I work with about my religion. I once tried to do that at my old job, but another girl who is in a different religion started to get snotty towards me and my views. Anytime I did anything not perfect, she would get mad at me and say, "I thought Mormons strive for perfection." No matter how many times I explained agency and perfection as the church sees it, she would just shut me down by saying something final. She didn't really listen. So, I haven't had a whole lot of positive experiences with sharing my religion. This job at Lowe's however has shown me that it's okay to be true to myself while displaying my beliefs. I don't expect everyone to remember that I don't like crude jokes, excessive cussing, etc., I obviously don't want them to pay me any special attention. "Oh, she's MORMON, watch what you say!!" That's not my goal. However, there is great respect there as well. Someone once went to tell me a joke and first asked my permission to tell a raunchy one. Permission denied, thank you. And he was okay with that. Someone else I work with used to be a member when she lived on the west coast. She no longer is, but she still has respect for the church. However, lately, I've been struggling with one old habit that is really hard for me. Before I joined the church I had a NASTYYYY cursing habit. I think a sailor could occasionally be embarrassed around me. Well, as I mentioned, Lowe's associates cuss. They cuss a LOT. I'm the type of person who always picks up common vernacular. I don't know why or how words slip into my vocabulary, but it just does. So, now I will occasionally find myself slipping out a cuss word or five.

I know that this is kind of lame, but I feel as though my environment affects me more than I want it to. When I was at school, I obviously wasn't perfect, but I found good examples all around me. I didn't have the desire to be the person I used to be when I was at school. I understand that I should be my own leader and do it on my own. I should be steadfast and immovable. I do try. I mean, I don't read my scriptures every day, I don't pray every day, but finally I find Mormonism shaping my thoughts, actions and ideas. It's hard to explain but changes have happened. Whenever I get frustrated with things at work, I just think about all my many blessings. When people steal or lie (customers) I get SO mad and frustrated. Sadly, this has turned into a blind area of mine. I don't expect people to lie or steal. Everyone else at work expects it. In fact, my expecting honesty from people gets me in trouble. I had a customer say that all the parts were there for a huge air compressor. I believed him and did the return for it. Not everything was there. Today a man handed me 3 lengths of wire. I asked if they were the same length. He said yes. I mean, I obviously could have checked to make sure, but he said they were the same. I believed him. He was reimbursed a few dollars more than he should have been. It makes me so mad. He LIED for a few extra bucks. Then he proceeded to use a license that wasn't his own and tried to sell his merchandise card off to everyone in the store. I don't understand why people lie, steal and cheat. Is it REALLY worth it? Five extra dollars is worth all that? So, I'm pretty sure that I've been pulled aside by management more than any other cashier to talk about customers who were/are shady. I don't know if that is a bad thing or good. After I make a mistake, it doesn't happen again. I mean, now I doubt everyone and think that everyone is naturally up to no good. I don't like that. I like my naive world where I think that people are honest. For the most part, people are good people. Retail does frustrate me after a while. I learn not to trust anyone, especially not customers. Honestly, "The Customer is Always Right" created a MONSTER. I really can be a pushover.

A+ for most random, stream of consciousness blog ever.

145.

Why does 8.5 hour shifts at Kohl's go by slower than a 9 hour at Lowe's? I do more at Kohl's and have more customers, yet my day takes for-ev-errrr.

Anyway, I haven't been on here lately, and I wanted to tell everyone that it's okay: I'm still alive. =]

Favorite artist of the moment: Eagles of Death Metal. <3 Insane love.

IN LESS THAN A WEEK MY BEXIE COMES HOMEEE. And I will be going shopping with her. Yayyyy! Then after that we won't ever shop again. Until it's time to shop for a car! :D

Anyway, I'm going to try to sleep. Asher told me it's better to fall asleep before midnight. I didn't achieve that, but I can make up for it. G'niteeee. <3

12 Squared

Sometimes, when I see numbers, I think of how that number is broken down. I mostly do that when I see square roots in numbers. The only way that I can tell what time 16:00 is is by knowing that the square root of 16 is 4. It is 4 o'clock. Hence the name of this blog post.


Anyway, I signed onto my blogger to tell everyone all about my terrible day, but FIRST, I had to check all of my Facebook status updates. Well, I didn't have to, but being a 19 year old female who tries to keep up with all her friends, it was almost mandatory. Almost. That's when I saw this quote posted by a friend of mine that kind of made me stop and rethink my day:

"Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others . . . By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves." - Gordon B. Hinckley

 I read this quote a long time ago, back when I first joined the church, and frankly, just seeing that positive statement really made me all warm and fuzzy inside. So, instead of me just complaining to you about my terrible day, which, I'm still going to do, I'm going to make sure to include some positive things as well.

Last night, I could not get to sleep. I've been feeling not so great the last week or so. I've been congested, coughing, sneezing, the regular terrible cold symptoms. Last night I was feeling a little better, so I decided to not take any Nyquil to put me out of my misery. Well, that didn't work. So, around midnight, I plodded downstairs and took the last of the liquid Nyquil, which was about 3/4 of a dose. Went back to bed. STILL couldn't breathe or sleep. So around 1:30, I plodded back down the stairs and took Nyquil in pill form. So, overall, it took 1.75 doses of Nyquil to affect me. So, after my drug-induced coma of sorts, I woke up at about 11:30. I felt AMAZING. Then I looked out my window. Amazing feeling depleted. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE a little bit of snow, but ahem, 7 inches of it? Mmmmno thanks. I decided that, meh, it's no big deal. I'll get through it. So I went downstairs and found basically nothing for food. So, I took out a frozen stir fry and fried it up. It was delish. I love frozen stir fries. Since there is nothing for food, I decide that I'll stop at Hannaford's on my way to work and just pick up a Lean Cuisine or something. I got dressed in some jeans that DON'T touch the floor, two tee shirts, a puffer vest, a barn jacket, a beanie hat, and huge, thick boots. I was a sight to behold. Armed with my snow scraper, I head out to my truck. Oh yes, I recall, I pulled into my parking spot so I'll have to back out, turn around, then go forward towards the street. WELL. I got right down to work. I started the beast of a Ford F-250 3/4 ton with a v8 engine right on up, turned up my WCYY radio and started scraping snow. I forgot how hard it is to reach up there, but I did it. It was IMMACULATE. I jumped right on in, (literally, jumped) and stuck it in reverse and.... that's it folks. That's all I did. I moved maybe a foot and I was stuck. I went forward a little bit, then floored it to go into reverse. I figured I'd get traction soon enough. Oh no. There was no traction. Instead, I went sideways right into my lawn. GREAT. So, I walk up the driveway, back into the garage and get my shovel out. I shovel out my back tires cause, OH, didn't I tell you? My F-250 is a TWO WHEEL DRIVE. Well, after I shovel it out, I manage to reverse about another foot. So, I have successfully moved 2 feet backwards and about five feet to the side. Well, I guess I ought to go get some sand which is half way down the driveway. So I grab my shovel and trudge down the driveway, get a scoopful of sand, walk back up the driveway, place the sand under my tire, go back, grab more sand, put it under the other wheel, throw the shovel out of the way, get in the truck and reverse again. Success! I got another 10 inches reversed. I also went a little sideways and took out the driveway reflector/marker, too, but oh well. Repeat the sand fetching and reversing sentence. Only this time, I REALLY took out the reflector. It is now under my driver's side tire. Ooops. I did this exercise about five times before I actually got the truck reversed enough where I had the room to turn to go straight. That took another two trips for sand and finally, I was heading down the driveway. This took all of forty minutes, a handful of cuss words and a fist thrown into my steering wheel. Patience IS a virtue after all. I did not stop at the end of my driveway, I just plowed out onto the road. If I had stopped at the bottom, I would have been stuck again. I weighed my choices and I decided that I'd rather get hit than get stuck again. Hindsight being 20/20, I probably would have gone with the being stuck option. All through Farmington the roads were great. So, I called my dad to let him know that the driveway was a little worse for wear and I was finally on my way to work. Then I turned on to route 11 and almost lost all my grip on the road. Route 11 was TERRIBLE. I don't think anyone plowed it. I began fishtailing all over the road, hung up on my dad, and tried to get a grip. Close call, but safe there. So, traffic is naturally going about 25 in a 55, but seeing how the roads were pretty bad, I don't blame them. But now I'm running late. And the truck is getting really hot. So I roll down my window just in time for some snow to decide that it doesn't want to stay on my roof anymore. It slides down onto my windshield where my wipers are going full steam. Therefore, the snow came flying in my window and hits me right in the lap. Needless to say, window went up and I decided to fry. Now it's time to turn on to route 16. Whoever plowed 16 decided that the route was really 6 inches over from where the actual road lay. So, I, naturally, went off the road, my tire got sucked into a mini ditch and I had to force my way out of it. By doing so, I ended up yanking my wheel over to the left and therefore, fishtailing again. Now, mind you, I have 720 pounds of weight in my truck: fishtailing should not occur. Luckily, no one was on the road as I ended up on the opposite side of traffic. I got off of 16 with no harm, except for when I turned onto Washington Street I ended up in the wrong lane and almost rammed another car, but what else is new? I turn into my lovely Lowe's parking lot and... IT ISN'T PLOWED. Not one bit. OH, except  for the first six parking spots which is NOT employee parking. Come to find out, the plow company had been there all day... drinking coffee and plowing the road part of the parking lot, not the actual parking spots. So, I have no options: I have to park somewhere. So, I pull into a mound of snow... only to get stuck in the mound of snow. Crooked. And hanging out into a lane. Bloody Perfect. I didn't care. I just went inside. I get in the door and my coworker goes, "How you doing??" What do I do? Cry. I was so frustrated with snow, drivers, snow, plowers, snow, sand, snow, people. So, I cried. Pathetic. I slinked off to the break room where, OH GREAT, it seems like everyone is on break. It was packed full. So, everyone is all, "Cat, what's wrong? You okay?" So, I told them about how stuck I got, how I'm stuck again and how I hate snow and they all say how sorry they are about my truck being a 2 wheel drive. It goes quiet then someone goes, "AT LEAST YOU'RE ON TIME." Laughter ensues. One guy goes, "How come you didn't call on a man to help you?" I respond, "I don't want a man, or need a man to help me. I am an independent woman who can get herself out of her own messes." He goes, "Ya hear that," to my coworker. She goes, "I shoveled myself out! But my boyfriend is coming to pick me up." 

1. I got stuck

2. I almost died coming to work

3. I got stuck in my own parking lot

4. I didn't have time to go to Hannaford's for lunch. So I ate animal crackers for dinner and 2 bottles of water.

5. I had guys asking me all night if I was okay. I HATE crying and I hate crying in front of guys the most.

6. A married man called me 'babe.'

7. A (different) married man basically implied that he is looking for a girlfriend cause he needs some attention. 

8. My best friend's computer crashed and now I can't AIM her. =[

POSITIVE TIME!!!

1. I finally look good in a beanie hat. I used to look so weird in one, but now that my hair has grown out some, I look good in one.

2. I know from experience that I want an AWD/4WD

3. I got paid to do basically nothing all night cause we had practically no customers.

4. Most of my Christmas shopping is done thanks to Amazon.com

5. My bestieeeeeeee is going to be home in 12 days.

6. I have a jug of orange juice to console with.

7. I have finally figured out Korean letters. I just have to remember them all.

8. I'm just as obsessed with Korean stuff as Bex is.

9. Bex is bringing home my textbook so I don't have to buy it and ship it here. <3

10. I'm finally not congested anymore. :D

I know that the quote says that we're miserable when we think only of ourselves, and I know also that many of those statements began with "I," but maybe that's okay this time.

143.

I have amour-propre. Thank you French for that word.

I still love my job at Lowe's. In 8 days it will be my 3 month mark which means I should be getting a review. I hope that it's a good one  cause I have been trying. At Kohl's, I didn't really care a whole lot. I cared about credit because, well, if I ever tell you that I'm not competitive, I'm lying. I don't like being competitive, so I try to come off as not competitive, but really, I do care about trying to be the best. I was like, number three in the store for credit solicitations. Being back there now makes me feel gross. I HATE selling credit to these poor people. I don't want them to get the Kohl's card. It's not a good thing to have. But in order to have a good standing with the store, I have to solicit. I just feel gross being there now. It's all a nasty competition on who can be the best. At Lowe's, it is SO laid back and chill. Ten minutes late? Oh, oh well, at least he/she came. Want to trade shifts with someone, SURE! as long as the shift gets covered, no one cares. At Kohl's you had to have your signature, the other person's signature, a manager's approval, a sheet of paper declaring that if you don't show up than you're both in trouble, blah blah blah. At Lowe's, just tell your supervisor, the supervisor will vocally verify the changes, then change the schedule in the break room. At Lowe's if a customer cusses with you and you cuss back, well, sure it isn't amazing that you're cussing, but if the customer doesn't mind, it's all fine. You break your finger on the Kohl's sales-floor and say the s-word cause, go figure, it hurts, and some little girl hears you, the mother becomes appalled and tells the manger? Yep, you can bet that the manager is not happy. That may be an exaggeration of some sorts, but I do remember associates getting busted for cussing even when no customers were in the building. At Lowe's, the associates cuss at each other all the time. Obviously not in a fighting way, but just the slip of the tongue kind of way. Now, I'm not sitting here defending cussing or anything, I'm just trying to show the difference in work environments. Kohl's can have it's pants in a bunch while Lowe's is all chill and carefree. Yeah, we still have rules, guidelines and expectations, but we don't have to shove credit down customer's throats, then ask them for their email address and say the rigid phrase, "Thank you for shopping at Kohl's!" We do, however, have to invite our Lowe's customers back in some sort of phrase. I usually just say something like, "Feel free to come back soon," "Come back soon," or "See you later!" I try to keep it casual. Most of the time when I say, "See you later," the customer is always like, "OHHH, yes you will!"

I'm not trying to say that Kohl's is a terrible place or anything. I used to enjoy working there when I was younger. Oooooh, I'm old enough to say that now. But, I have a work environment that I am more comfortable with. It could just be the sneakers and jeans talking to me, or it could be the repeat customers who are there every day that are both cute and friendly who know me by name now. It could be the people I work with who are so care-free and lovable. They feel like a family of some sort. Yes. All 150 of them. It's a big family and every lunch break feels like a family reunion.

What I'm getting at is that I don't feel as though I can expect great things while we build something together. So I think I'm just going to stay with the lets build something together and leave the great things for other people. <3