Never surrender; never lose faith.

The corridor of faith.

"If you say that faith should be blind

Feast your eyes on the long corridor of faith

Only at the end you will you find your belief

Only at the end you will see the truth

Only after you see the corridor of faith

Only then you can decide to go blind"

I talked to this rad kid in English today who is on the BYUIFD which is wayy too many letters in a fire-department's name.

I got like an 81 on a paper, but I'm going to be able to raise that grade when I bring in one of the missing elements and hopefully get like, another 6 points or so.

I went to the Honor Code Office to discuss issues within the dorm and instead of talking just about the issues, we talked about growth and the Spirit and such.

I went to my BoM class. Which, basically, was the pinnacle of my day. I love that class.

You know what else? Your song doesn't affect me, anymore, girl. Your day in my calender, doesn't affect me anymore, girl. Three years seven months and eleven days. I can honestly say I am so done and over it. Do you have any idea how pathetic that makes me? It took me THAT long to forget you? To not care? Strange what the West will do to a person. That realization made my day infintely better.

So, BoM today.... we talked about 2Nephi 31. Here are some insights and such:

13 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that if ye shall follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the Father that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Christ, by baptism—yea, by following your Lord and your Savior down into the water, according to his word, behold, then shall ye receive the Holy Ghost; yea, then cometh the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost; and then can ye speak with the tongue of angels, and shout praises unto the Holy One of Israel.

Hypocrisy in Greek means "play-actor." Then really dwell on the whole "real intent" part. It is so powerful.

14 But, behold, my beloved brethren, thus came the voice of the Son unto me, saying: After ye have repented of your sins, and witnessed unto the Father that ye are willing to keep my commandments, by the baptism of water, and have received the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost, and can speak with a new tongue, yea, even with the tongue of angels, and after this should deny me, it would have been better for you that ye had not known me.

So, in this verse, Christ is talking and saying that you should repent of sins, keep the commandments, become baptized and receive the Holy Ghost... and if after that you DENY Him, it would have been better to not know Him at all. Like, just the impact of that verse. It's amazing. To think that your salvation would have been better if you didn't know the truth rather than to know it and ignore it. You know? Haha, BUT, even if bad stuffs happen after your baptism and you choose to ignore the right but then want to come back to the right, there are options. First of all, there is repentance. Knowing you're wrong, talking to the Bishop about it and just coming back. Then, if you were ex-communicated or took your name off the records you can be RE baptized. But when you're re baptized, they don't put down that date that you got baptized, they put down your original date of baptism. It's symbolic, really. Like, yar, you fell away, but when you're REbaptized, you're cleansed of that fall so you're like you were when you were originally baptized. And on your record, they omit the part that mentions that you fell, or you had struggles, because due to the baptism, it doesn't exist anymore.. but this isn't like a thing that you can rely on.. "oh, I'll fall THEN get re-baptized again and again." It is a long hard process.

Also, my teacher was talking about how WE aren't to really decide if we aren't worthy of the sacrament... He said our Bishop decides that. Worthy doesn't mean you're sinless. 3rd Nephi 18 saysss:

28 And now behold, this is the commandment which I give unto you, that ye shall not suffer any one knowingly to partake of my flesh and blood unworthily, when ye shall minister it;

29 For whoso eateth and drinketh my flesh and blood unworthily eateth and drinketh damnation to his soul; therefore if ye know that a man is unworthy to eat and drink of my flesh and blood ye shall forbid him.

30 Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out from among you, but ye shall minister unto him and shall pray for him unto the Father, in my name; and if it so be that he repenteth and is baptized in my name, then shall ye receive him, and shall minister unto him of my flesh and blood.

It says in 29: "if ye know that a man is... ye shall forbid him." It is instruction to our leaders to take care of us and make sure that we, His sheep, are doing our good righteous stuff.

Also, my teacher told me that we take the sacrament as a form of repentance and that skipping it of our OWN accord is like, not allowing ourselves to repent, fully. I never knew that. Like, I kinda did, but didn't. Only when you have made a BIG boo-boo that is worthy of seeing the Bishop for, and he TELLS YOU, you are to skip the sacrament... but just because it is a big mistake, doesn't mean that the Bishop will tell you to skip the sacrament. Sometimes he will do the very opposite and encourage you to take the sacrament. This is why we need to see our Bishops when we feel we are not worthy to take the sacrament. They have the keys of the priesthood and have that power of revelation and will know what our Heavenly Father wants. Does he want us to take the sacrament, or not? There isn't EXACTLY a set precedence.

Tom,

I love you still. I will never give up on you in my heart and in my mind. I believe in you. You are my brother by means of water, forever. I have faith in you. I will always have faith in you.

Love from your sister,

Catherine Anne