I'm stubborn and I'm scared.
When I get scared, I run.
Remember that movie, Runaway Bride?
I'm the runaway girlfriend.
I see one sign that he is upset and I want to run.
I've been stubborn.
I really love Gabe and I don't want to run.
Well, that's a lie.
I've wanted to run a few dozen times,
but I've stopped myself because. . .
well, I've never felt so real and complete in a relationship before.
So, I've stayed put.
After the last week or so,
I'M SCARED.
I haven't been sleeping.
I've been distracting myself with homework.
I've been thinking only of school.
So, last night when I got an unexpected text
my stomach DROPPED.
Then today, I tried texting and we did a bit,
but then it turned to annoyance, and quickly.
"We'll talk later."
So, I had an instant flash back to Lizzie McGuire.
She had a boyfriend and was totally infatuated with him.
He was the newspaper boy and stopped by one morning.
He asked for Lizzie and said, "We need to talk."
Lizzie, oblivious, was all too eager to talk to him.
Her mom tried to stop her, but like a typical teenager, Lizzie ignored her mom.
Her father asked her mother why she tried to stop Lizzie.
Lizzie's mom explained that the phrase, "We need to talk" is the worst phrase any girl could ever hear in her teenage dating life.
Sure enough, the newspaper boy wanted to talk to Lizzie to break up with her.
He explained that they were better as friends and that she lived so far away and that he would rather date someone from HIS school.
[Convenience.]
So, why am I not running?
1. I don't trust my intuition. Not with him.
I always think he is thinking one thing, when he is thinking exactly the opposite.
I can't predict him.
And I love that.
2. I only run because I'm scared I'll get hurt,
so I figure if I do the hurting I won't get hurt.
That is only half true in past instances.
But also, if I ever allowed myself to get hurt,
he is the only one with the ability to do so.
Because I love him.
3. I have no where to go.
He is my best friend, even if this doesn't work out.
My definition of running includes cutting said person off completely.
I can not and refuse to cut him out of my life.
I don't have scissors big enough.
And I love that.
Ryan :), you're mega amazing.
Keep posi!! Don't let this world bring you down.
You're my posi-inspiration, suh!
Even if you make me feel so young and naive every now and again.
Sometimes I get down in the dumps and I talk to you,
and then I still have the same problems in my life,
but they aren't bringing me down,
I have a positive spin on things.
Thanks for being a "top notch individual,"
and a great friend. =]
When I get scared, I run.
Remember that movie, Runaway Bride?
I'm the runaway girlfriend.
I see one sign that he is upset and I want to run.
I've been stubborn.
I really love Gabe and I don't want to run.
Well, that's a lie.
I've wanted to run a few dozen times,
but I've stopped myself because. . .
well, I've never felt so real and complete in a relationship before.
So, I've stayed put.
After the last week or so,
I'M SCARED.
I haven't been sleeping.
I've been distracting myself with homework.
I've been thinking only of school.
So, last night when I got an unexpected text
my stomach DROPPED.
Then today, I tried texting and we did a bit,
but then it turned to annoyance, and quickly.
"We'll talk later."
So, I had an instant flash back to Lizzie McGuire.
She had a boyfriend and was totally infatuated with him.
He was the newspaper boy and stopped by one morning.
He asked for Lizzie and said, "We need to talk."
Lizzie, oblivious, was all too eager to talk to him.
Her mom tried to stop her, but like a typical teenager, Lizzie ignored her mom.
Her father asked her mother why she tried to stop Lizzie.
Lizzie's mom explained that the phrase, "We need to talk" is the worst phrase any girl could ever hear in her teenage dating life.
Sure enough, the newspaper boy wanted to talk to Lizzie to break up with her.
He explained that they were better as friends and that she lived so far away and that he would rather date someone from HIS school.
[Convenience.]
So, why am I not running?
1. I don't trust my intuition. Not with him.
I always think he is thinking one thing, when he is thinking exactly the opposite.
I can't predict him.
And I love that.
2. I only run because I'm scared I'll get hurt,
so I figure if I do the hurting I won't get hurt.
That is only half true in past instances.
But also, if I ever allowed myself to get hurt,
he is the only one with the ability to do so.
Because I love him.
3. I have no where to go.
He is my best friend, even if this doesn't work out.
My definition of running includes cutting said person off completely.
I can not and refuse to cut him out of my life.
I don't have scissors big enough.
And I love that.Ryan :), you're mega amazing.
Keep posi!! Don't let this world bring you down.
You're my posi-inspiration, suh!
Even if you make me feel so young and naive every now and again.
Sometimes I get down in the dumps and I talk to you,
and then I still have the same problems in my life,
but they aren't bringing me down,
I have a positive spin on things.
Thanks for being a "top notch individual,"
and a great friend. =]
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